So! Wow! It’s been a whole entire year since Honey Sweet Lies was released. 

That’s kind of hard to believe... time flies, huh?

( I’m rather embarrassed that I didn't finish the update by the anniversary date… I was struggling to figure some coding out, and by the time I found someone to help me, life got busy and I’d slipped my mind… )

I honestly never thought more than maybe 10 people would play the game. I had always hoped it would find some level of success but I never actually expected anyone to play and enjoy what was virtually an experiment in visual novel making.

But wow, as of today, people have downloaded the game. That’s beyond nuts to me. More people played my game than went to my high school.

To be honest, I haven’t done a full play-through of the game since maybe a month or so after I launched it. I think it would kind of ruin that insanely magical feeling I felt the first time I played the game all put together ... how hard I cried seeing the final scene in action versus on paper. How nice the visuals all looked together and how cute everything was. 

If I looked back now, I know how dissatisfied I’d likely be with it. I’ve come a long way in my writing and art skills, and I know my brain would pick out every wobbly lineart (there’s a lot) or awkward wording or just the, in general, lacklustre game design.

I really didn’t do much research jumping into this. I just wanted to learn as I went and have fun doing it - and I certainly did. Since I never imagined the reach the game got, I really regret not putting more thought into the overall player experience and playing more visual novels (maybe ... actually playing through DDLC lol) and researching horror and psychological horror as a genre. But still, as a first-ever project, I’m immensely proud of myself for completing and working up the courage to share it.

This project, and the following projects after it, taught me a lot about myself.  Mostly, I’m not really cut out for the industry, and I’m not mentally prepared for being a creator yet.

I’m not gonna explain my whole laundry list of mental health issues, but I suffer from very intense rejection-sensitive dysphoria; anything that could even be taken as a criticism makes my heart feel like it’s being stabbed.

I couldn’t even stand the thought of reading a single piece of constructive criticism cuz I was worried it would impact my future motivation to create and share projects. Literally. I’m very sensitive and rejection hurts more than it should. I’m not thick-skinned enough for the public’s opinion on my creations yet.

And also, I’m just not that technically skilled as an artist. Even so, I am happy with where my art is and what I am creating. But being pleased with where I am and not having the motivation to work hard and improve means I’m not ever gonna be a sprite illustrator and work in the industry. And I think I’m cool with that. Art has become second to writing for me anyways.

I really miss creating. And I really miss visual novels. I miss having the energy to throw my everything into what I was working on. Maybe one day I’ll find what I need to come back to pursuing my passions. Perhaps I’ll find the self-confidence to try working collaboratively or actually publishing a story someday.

But for now, I’m just figuring things out.

Thank you to every single person who downloaded, played, reviewed, rated, shared, watched YouTube playthroughs of, recommended to their friends, added to their lists, drew fanart of, and enjoyed Honey Sweet Lies. Thank you for every compliment and every critique (even if I haven’t read most of them...) Thank you to the kind soul who added a bunch of info to vndatabase. And thank you, for reading this. 

I hope to see you all in the future,

fyshku productions